Funny Kids Jokes


Funny pics - jokes for kids

jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids

A FEW QUICK CRAZY NAMES



Q: What do you call a woman with a sinking ship on her head?
A: Mandy Lifeboats!



Q: What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing snooker?
A: Beatrix Potter!

Q: What do you call a lion with toothache?
A: Rory!

Q: What do you call a man with a big truck on his head?
A: Laurie! (short funny jokes for kids)

Q: What do you call a man with turf on his head?
A: Pete!

Q: What do you call the ghost who haunts TV shows?
short funny jokes for kids
short funny jokes for kids

A: Phantom of the Oprah!

Q: What kind of illness does Bruce Lee get?
A: Kung Flu!

Q: What do you call a man who doesn't sink?
A: Bob!  (short funny jokes for kids)

Q: What do you call a Rodent that has a sword?
A: A Mouseketeer!

Q: What do you call the bad lion tamer?
A: Claude Bottom



jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids

QUICKFIRE FUNNIES


Q: What do monsters make with cars? 
A: Traffic Jam

Q: What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
A: Mumbo Jumbo

Q: Why did the pony cough?
A: He was a little hoarse!

Q: What do sheep do on sunny days?
A: Have a baa - baa - cue!

Q: How do you know when a dog has been naughty?
A: It leaves a little poodle on the carpet!

Q: Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches?
A: In a Launch box  (short funny jokes for kids)  

Q: What do you call the pub on Mars?
A: A Mars Bar!

Q: Why did the spaceship land outside your bedroom?
A: I must have left the landing light on

Q: What do you call a vampire that lives in the kitchen?
A: Spatula!

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with!

jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids


FUNNY RIDDLES



Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors?
A: you don't bury survivors

Q: Twelve pears hanging high, twelve men passing by, each took a pear and left eleven hanging there. How can this be? How can eleven pears be left?
A: 'Each' is a mans name!

Q: If there's a frog, dead in the centre of a lilypad which is right in the middle of the pond, which side would it jump to?
A: neither, the frog is dead!  (short funny jokes for kids)

Q: You're a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus drivers eyes?
A: The same as yours, you're the bus driver.

Q: What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?
A: The sea!

Q: A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet...how come?
A: He was bald.   (short funny jokes for kids)

Q: David's father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ?
A: David

Q: What has a mouth but doesn't eat, a bank with no money, a bed but doesn't sleep, and waves but has no hands?
A: a river.

Q: A cowboy rode to an inn on Friday. He stayed two nights and left on Friday. How could that be?
A: His horse was called Friday.

Q: If the red house is on the right side and if the blue house is on the left side where's the white house?
A: Washington DC

jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids

AN IRISHMAN, AN ENGLISHMAN...




Once there was an Irish man an Englishman and an Australian who decided to have a competition.While on top of the hill each man had to chuck his watch in the air, then run down the hill and catch it before it hit the ground.

So the Irishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground.

Then the Englishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground.

Next was the Australian who chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill, went and had a beer, did the shopping, came back and caught his watch.   (short funny jokes for kids)

"How did you do that?" asked the Irishman.

The Australian replied "My watch is 1 hour slow !!!!!"

jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids

THE OWL AND THE PUSSY CAT



The owl and the pussycat went to sea,
but the end of our story's quite sad.
The owl pushed the pussycat over the edge
`cos her gameboy was driving him mad.

 (short funny jokes for kids)




jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids

ANOTHER ROUND OF QUICKFIRE FUNNIES



Q: What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam roller?
A: Flatman and ribbon.

Q: When is a car not a car?
A: When it turns into a garage.

Q: How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
A: a Buccaneer!

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Q: Why did the atoms cross the road?
A: It was time to split!

Q: What do you do when your chair breaks?
A: Call a Chairman.

Q: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide?   (short funny jokes for kids)
A: Because it's too cold out tide!

Q: What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A: a Toy-yoda.

Q: What is the biggest pencil in the world?
A: Pennsylvania.

Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
A: He saw the salad dressing!

jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids

QUESTIONS FOR ENQUIRING MINDS


Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have? 
A. Three - his left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.

Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.

Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?  (short funny jokes for kids)
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.
short funny jokes for kids
short funny jokes for kids


Q: How do you prevent a Summer cold?
A: Catch it in the Winter!

Q: What is the best day of the week to sleep?
A: Snooze-day!

Q: What does one star say to another star when they meet?
A: Glad to meteor!

Q: Why did the silly kid stand on his head?
A: His feet were tired!  (short funny jokes for kids)

Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!

jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids

RANDOM SILLINESS ALL ROUND



Q. Were you long in the hospital?
A. No, I was the same size that I am now!

Q. What button won't you find in a tailor's shop?
A. A Belly button!

Q. How did the farmer fix his jeans?
A. With a cabbage patch!

Q. What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear?
A. Ferry tales!  (short funny jokes for kids)

Q. What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A. A minnie van!

Q: How did the telephones get married?
A. In a double ring ceremony!

Q: Why did the child study in the aeroplane?
A: He wanted a higher education!

Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept!

Q: Do you know the time?  (short funny jokes for kids)
A: No, we haven't met yet!

Q: What kind of hair do oceans have?
A: Wavy!

jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids

KNOCK, KNOCK JOKES PARADISE



Knock, knock!
who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only a joke!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Earl
Earl who?
Earl be glad to tell you when you open the door.

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Emma
Emma who?  (short funny jokes for kids)
Emma bit cold out here, will you let me in?

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Howl
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door?
short funny jokes for kids
short funny jokes for kids


Knock, knock!
who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo beep beep!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Aardvark
Aardvark who?  (short funny jokes for kids)
Aardvark a million miles, for one of your smiles...

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Cows
Cows who?
No they don't, they moo!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Albert
Albert who?
Albert you don't know who it is!
jokes for kids
Funny pics - jokes for kids


Knock, knock!
who's there?
Twit2
Twit2 who?
You sound like an owl!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Duey
Duey who?
Duey have to keep telling me Knock, knock jokes???



3 comments:

  1. lol,, it is really funny post,, thanks for sharing

    funny movies

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for sharing your best collection of text messages on internet, this is really amazing and impressive messages are available. please sir keep posted the page & send me the newest info .... and and don't forget to visit and comment on my web: FUNNY JOKES, HINDI SMS, HINDI JOKES, LOVE QUOTES

    ReplyDelete

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